Apologies I missed my Wednesday upload last week, I had lots going on I just couldn’t keep up! All good things though, so I didn’t mind the little break. Today’s post might get a little emosh (sorry), but it’s all my honest thoughts and feelings that I want to share with you guys. I know alot of you may be experiencing the same things with some people moving to Uni or leaving the family home, so I hope this gives you a little insight, but I promise I don’t mean to scare you, I just want you to learn about my experience.
Today marks a big occasion in my life. 1 whole year ago I moved into a little flat in King’s Lynn, with my now fiance Daniel. 1 whole year ago I moved out of my home of 8 years leaving my mum, dog and 2 cats. 1 whole year ago my life completely changed. Let me tell you all about it. Grab a cuppa and a couple of biscuits, it’s gunna be a long read.
So myself and Daniel had been together for about a year and decided we were ready to move in together and out of our family homes. We had always talked about the moment we would move in with eachother but it always seemed so far away. Until one day we found a flat, went to view it and both instantly knew we would like to make it our home, for now. And that was it, we had chosen that flat, had been successful in getting it, and we would get the keys in 2 weeks. It went as fast as that! It was such an exciting couple of weeks, it all happened so quickly yet, I felt so so ready. I had a job, a car, a boyfriend, my own mind, I was ready to face the adult world.
With the help of both our families we moved all our personal belongings across and started making the flat our own. (The sofa was a right pain the arse to get in, I think Daniel and his Dad were this close to cutting it in half haha). It isn’t down the nicest street, and it is a small flat, but it was good enough for us, was in our price range, it was convenient with town being so close and just a walk away from work. It was our home for the next few years, and we loved it, still do, even more now that it’s filled with Disney and Star Wars and Unicorns.
Right, now this is where it hits home and gets abit tough. I’m gunna put it out there, adult life is hard and it sucks. Here’s why…
Bills – They are crappy and expensive and there’s so many you didn’t even realise you had to pay or what they even for. Examples: Home insurance – I understand why you have it now, but never knew it was something you needed to pay (well you do if you care about your belongings and stuff). TV license – I kinda knew it was a thing, but its bloody expensive if you ask me! Council Tax – Blimey that is expensive, even for the cheapest band, when you’re looking at how much rent you can afford extra, LOOK INTO THE COUNCIL TAX, ours the same as a 5th of our rent, a month! It’s crazy. Necessity bills and payments really add up, so make sure you do your sums! Luckily we were quite prepared as Daniel is a spreadsheet boffin and so our money is worked out to the pound. And that has helped us out massively. But when we were first getting started I deffo learn alot about where all your money goes. sigh.
Social Life – Now I’ve never been a massive socialite, with a big group of friends or go out partying etc, but I was always a little hopeful that when I got my own place that would change. Because you get to decide when you go out, or who stays over, or if you can stay up all night with your girlfriends gossiping. Reality check, you probably get more boring. For us we certainly did. I mean yeah I invite people round, a couple of my friends have popped over once or twice, and Daniel’s brother and girlfriend have been round for tea a couple of times, but that is as exciting as it gets really. We don’t go out because we’d rather lounge in our pjs til 11pm watching Gavin and Stacey eating popcorn and chocolate without anyone tell us we can’t, JUST BECAUSE WE CAN. And is that a problem? Of course not, we choose to do that, but just be careful you don’t isolate yourself from everyone, because it can get pretty lonely.
Family – I reaaaaaaally struggled with this. For the first I would say 9 months, (yes out of 12 I’ve been there) I really struggled with not being with my mum, or my pets, or if I had to be in the flat by myself. My mental health seriously suffered and I’m only now taking back control of my emotional state and wellbeing. It’s so so hard on your emotions, of course it is, it’s a MASSIVE change in your life, but it’s a journey, and I do not regret moving out, not one bit, but I wish I was able to manage them a little better, that’s all. I’ve received help for my mental health and I’m doing really well now, and I’m still super happy living with Daniel. But just remember we all adjust to change differently and in different time scales, and that’s perfectly normal.
Mess– Now your parents always say it ‘clean your bedroom’, ‘keep your room tidy’, ‘it’s more manageable when you have little bits to put away’, but they are trying to prepare you, honestly. If you don’t keep on top of your room at home, it gets super messy, right? Well If you don’t keep on top of your whole house, you live in a complete pig sty and it’s quite atrocious. It’s quite incredible how lazy you can be in your own home. Me and Daniel are so guilty of leaving the flat til you can’t even see the floor, then do a huuuuuge clean up operation at the alert of a guest coming round. Thank goodness we only have a small flat, that’s all I’m saying. We are pretty good with the washing up though as we take it in turns everyday, so at least the flat wont smell like last weeks curry, eh.
Food – The idea of choosing what you eat, when you eat EVERYDAY sounds absolutely amazing, doesn’t it? Oh and that cheeky takeaway you’ll have to treat yourself, you can’t wait, can you? The novelty wears off, pretty quickly too, it sucks. I HATE food shopping. Bring back the days when I’d get home from school and Mum would have decided and prepped what we were having for dinner that night, sigh. I’ve put on alot of weight since I moved out, partially because I’m an emotional eater (whatever emotion I’m feeling, I will eat because of it) and partially because I get to choose to eat whatever I want, so I choose the yummy things, which we all know aren’t the best things, 99% of the time. And also snacks and treats, there’s noone to restrict you apart from yourself, so you just bask in the glory of chocolate and cake whenever you like, it’s dangerous. Since I’ve been trying to control what I eat (in the past month ish) a bit better and snack less, I have lost a stone, so it’s all about self control and I will slowly get there.
Living with someone – Honestly, this is the part I have least struggled with. Me and Daniel are truly eachother’s best friend, which will make him gag if he ever reads this but it’s true. We enjoy eachothers company all the time, and can talk about anything and everything. We moan at eachother for leaving socks around the house, or not flushing the toilet, or not cleaning the dish properly, but it’s all lighthearted and we never fall out over it. At the start it was difficult sharing the TV, because I was into my soaps and TV series but Daniel just wanted to play Xbox, so with one TV and us both being home at the same time it did get us fighting over who’s turn it was to use the TV,. But we’ve both grown together and now watch TV we both like, and plays game we both want to play, or we compromise and I’ll watch YouTube videos on my phone whilst he plays his Xbox. It all works out, you just have to compromise with each other, it’s what life is about. I guess the hardest thing about living with someone is sharing a bedroom. Not sleeping in the same bed, that doesn’t bother me (mainly because I take up 80% of the bed anyways so I sleep fine… ), but the fact you basically have only half the room to keep your stuff in, half the wardrobe space, half the drawers, half the shelves for Disney stuff, half the desk for makeup. You feel me? But you adjust, it’s not too bad.
So there’s my little insight into moving out and living with your partner. LITTLE?! you say, yes, little, there’s alot to moving out and braving the big wide world, but it’s one of the most amazing experiences you’ll ever have, and the roller coaster of a journey it brings with it.
So stay strong, plan, enjoy it and take it all as it comes!
Good luck out there peoples, enjoy the ride.